A WEEKEND OF ISETTA'S

by Tony Marshall (published in the Isetta Gazette May, 1980)

I write this as a warning to the uninitiated as to what can become of your calm and ordered life when you decide to involve yourself with Isetta's. Perhaps there is cause for legislation stating that all micro cars should bear a notice that says, "WARNING - MICRO CARS CAN TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE!"

This story begins when I am sitting at home answering some letters. The telephone rang, and, when I answered it, Stephen Willis's voice came through telling me that he had heard of an abandoned Isetta in a pub car park in Cheam, and could I investigate? Of course I could, and said I would have a look the next day.

The next day I spent over an hour driving around Cheam, looking for the pub in question, but to no avail. I gave up, resigned to the fact that we had lost another Isetta.

That evening I was sat at home, answering some more letters when the telephone rang. It was Stephen Willis again, although I did wonder if I was experiencing Deja-vu. Stephen explained that the information he had given me the previous day was incorrect, and that the pub was not in Cheam, but in Sheen. I said I would set off straight away to see if I could find this errant Isetta.

When I got to Sheen the pub was easy to find, and there, in the corner of the car park was a heap of - well something that had formerly been an Isetta. The body was dented where it had been severely beaten up by the local vandals, and many parts had been removed. In fact, it occurred to me that the poor little car may have been a victim of a mugging attack by a gang of Reliants! However, I took the details and went home to report to Stephen that the car was not very good, and that the local Council were due to remove it soon. Stephen's reaction surprised me, but I found it a most agreeable surprise. "It sounds as though I can do something with it," he said. "But how do I get it home?"

As I had no immediate remedy to this problem, I suggested that he spend the weekend thinking about it, and went back to answering some more letters. (Why don't I answer them before they mount up?). Soon the phone rang again. No, it was David Boorer this time, and in the course of the conversation he just happened to mention that he had just completed building a car trailer for Isetta's, in case I ever needed to borrow it. "How about this weekend?" I asked, and we agreed that I could have the use of the trailer if I needed it. Then I phoned back Stephen and told him the good news.

So this is how it happened that I ended up collecting the remains of 2521 MT on the Saturday morning, and set off for the long trek to Harpenden. Perhaps I should mention at this point that I had already agreed to spend the weekend at Tiptree, helping Mike Kensdale with the spares, and that I was to call in at Markhouse Motorcycles in East London to collect Mike's reconditioned 600 crankshaft. For this reason I was unable to just drive straight to Harpenden, which was more or less due north, but had to cross from south-west London to east London, and then head off in a north-west direction towards Stephen's. Having collected the 600 crankshaft, I set off in the customary cloud of smoke (I really must get around to doing something about the car), arriving in Harpenden in mid afternoon. The Isetta was unloaded, and to my astonishment, not only was Stephen excited and apparently pleased with the condition of the car, but so were the rest of his family! This was most unexpected since the car, besides having no windows, had part of the engine missing, no wheels, no front hubs, no steering assembly, no seat, and few redeeming features. "Will it be at Burford?", I joked. "Oh, it'll be on the road before then," answered Stephen, and he really meant it. There is no doubt that he deserves admiration for his willingness to tackle the sort of job that many would consider not only impracticable, but probably impossible.

I was treated to tea, and then set off for Tiptree, while behind me a pall of exhaust smoke settled over Harpenden.

My reason for offering to give Mike a hand with the spares was due to the fact that he had been ill, and had been overwhelmed by members writing in requesting parts. Unfortunately, Mike has the problem that he is just too strong willed for his own good. If I felt ill I would say, "Let them wait, I don't feel up to it," and would make sure I was recovered before getting back into the routine. Not Mike. He doesn't give in, and consequently it takes him longer to get over colds and the flu.

Anyway, I arrived in Tiptree in the evening, and we started almost immediately to deal with outstanding mail (It's getting to be a habit with me!), and that did not stop until midnight. The following day we worked from 9.30 in the morning until midnight again, and when I left shortly after (yes, in a cloud of smoke), the mail was just about up to date.

Believe me, I had no idea how much work was involved in running the spares service, a job that Mike somehow combines with that of treasurer. It is not as easy as it appears, just receiving the letters, packing up the items listed, and paying the occasional cheque into the bank. First, the parts have to come from somewhere. This often involves Mike in researching sources of supply, and then arranging for an order to be placed. Very often, he has to collect the parts when they are ready, and then transport them home. The new parts then have to be sorted and packed away on shelves (and who do you think puts up the shelves?) in the spares shed (and who put up the shed?). Prices have to be calculated, and records kept.

There are also letters to write, telephone calls to make, and a hundred and one other jobs which we all take for granted because we just don't realise.

Apart from this, Mike is still plodding away restoring his BMW 600, which is way behind schedule due to his other commitments, and in between all this he has a full time job and a family and home to look after. How does he do it?

We just don't realise how much time and effort the Isetta Owners Club Spares Service takes, from its manager, in order to run in a way that seems professional. Now that I've told you how it is, please try and remember how it works the next time you need a part for your car.